A Call To Action

I'll admit, this is not going to be one of the easiest blog entries to write, or possibly to read, but what happened last night clearly needs to be said and needs to be read by anyone interested in Mom and Dad's well being.

Joe called a meeting with Mom, Dad and Angie to "work out" the issues that came up earlier in the week when the police were called. Joe invited Craig Anderson, a member of their stake presidency, to moderate the discussion and give his council. For the first 2 hours, the discussion was relatively calm and resulted in the assessment from Craig that:
1) Joe needs to actively start the process of moving out and
2) Everyone else in the family needs to be transitioned in to help mom and dad with their needs such as Dr visits, cleaning, Rx runs etc.

Craig excused himself and we continued to talk for about another hour. It was painfully clear over the 3 hours that we talked, that Joe has moved both mom and dad into "his corner" by effectively closing out the rest of the family. Mom admitted that she and dad are uncomfortable visiting any of our homes, and that Joe and Vicki are the only ones they can count on for their support. All the other 6 children are entirely unreliable and undependable according to Mom, Dad and Joe. Remember that Angie, who has taken a month off from her family to be here, was in the room.

We made the statements very clear that Mom and Dad's decision to harbor one son and his family has alienated the rest of their children and grandchildren. They have 23 grand children but a relationship with only 2 of them.

Angie summarized by adding another condition to Joe. He has until March 21, 2010 to 1) Move out or 2) Get a Job, or she will either 1) File the assault charges or 2) Report the situation to the state Adult Protective services.

We know that any assault charges will result in a more difficult situation for Joe. This is absolutely not what we want. Reporting their current situation to the state will be the likely outcome. This is not at all a bad thing. If the state comes in and investigates the living conditions and financial impact of having Joe's family live there, including the second mortgage on the home to pay for Joe's car, and believes that there is no harm being done, we can all rest assured. It will be sad to know what mom and dad have sacrificed for Joe and Vicki, but we have always know Dad would sacrifice anything for any one of us, (or as in this case all the rest of us for one of us).

Remember, we must continue to communicate what is happening. This blog entry is my impression of what happened last night. If I interpreted things wrong, speak up. If anything I have said is inaccurate, speak up. Silence is acceptance or indifference.

In the parable of the Lost Sheep, the Good Shephard left the 99 to search out the 1 who had strayed, then He brought him back to the fold. Mom and Dad have seached out the 1 who has strayed, but have not brought him back. Instead they stayed away, separated from others and abandoning their flock. It's time for us to go and invite them back.